S T U D Y   C E N T R E

F A M I L Y   L I F E   C E N T R E   -   P A R T   6

• Married life was meant to be a very wonderful experience.  It was instituted by God to be a kind of heaven on earth relationship.  However, for many people, marriage has turned out to be hell on earth.
• It should be our prayer and desire that the good marriages in our society will be made better and the bad marriages can be made good.
• How old or young your marriage is and what you are used to is not the issue—it is the will of God that your marriage will be a fruitful heaven on earth marriage.

1. Broken Communication

• One of the most serious problems in many marriages is broken communication.
• Broken communication with God is my main emphasis.
• This kind of broken communication produces:  dead love, bitterness, pride, deception, competition, and misunderstanding.
• Many couples today under the attack of broken communication are trying hard to make things work for many carnal reasons, including the loss of face that comes with divorce, the future of the children, the problems involved in finding another partner, etc.
• Not enjoying married life is not the problem of the man or the woman in most cases.
• The problem is both of them.
• Every marriage was meant to be man and woman (one flesh) in connection with God.
• The marriage also has a trinitarian dimension.
• The diagram here shows that with time, most marriages replace God with many other things that affect communication at all levels.

• The way today’s global community is built has increased the rate of broken communication in marriages.
• To continually bring your marriage before God will always maintain a connection with Him to keep the flame of love between husband and wife.

2.  Intimacy in Marriage

• Intimacy is extremely important to both husband and wife.  They both want it.
• It is also important to understand that the husband and wife travel through different routes to find intimacy in marriage.
• The man finds it through sex.
• The woman finds it through communication.
• A husband hears of intimacy and begins to think about a passionate physical experience.
• When a wife hears about intimacy, she thinks about emotional connection and communication.
• What is the love language of your wife?

• In his book, The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman gives the five love languages.  Every husband should find out which ones relate to your wife.
• Quality Time
• Acts of Service
• Words of Affirmation
• Physical Touch
• Gifts

3. Great Sex in Marriage

• Genesis 2:24, 1 Corinthians 7:3-5
• Though many couples enjoy sex, they downplay the idea of making it better.
• Both husband and wife must not exhaust creative ways for a wonderful sex life.
• Sex is an integral part of the married life.
• Any doctrine or teaching that attempts to minimize the importance of sex in marriage is dangerous. 
• Among other things, when a marriage fails in bed, it is destined to fail in the overall sense.
• A marriage that succeeds in the bed has a good chance of succeeding.
• Causes of sexual ineffectiveness in marriage:
• Lack of desire (stress)
• Boredom
• Physical causes
• Marital conflict
• Religious beliefs
• Incompatibility
• Haste
• With time, most married people conclude that sex within marriage is not exciting or pleasurable as they had hoped or expected.
• They get frustrated and disappointed.

4. Growing in Sexual Happiness

• Proverbs 5:19, Song of Songs 5:16, 7:1-9
• Try something different.
• Take the limits off your life to enjoy sex.
• Train your mind to help you enjoy sex.
• Find personal nicknames for sexual communication.
• A look of desire on your face.
• Keep your body clean.

5. What is Wrong on the Marriage Bed

• Prostitution
• Sodomy
• Lesbianism
• Homosexuality
• Incest
• Adultery
• Besides such impure practices, go for it if you don’t have a problem with it.
• Take off the limits.
• If the wife and husband likes it, why not?
• Song of Songs 2:3, 4:16
• You Christian liberty has set you free from every cultural and religious invented moral taboos.

Go for it with all your heart, but never be a slave to sex that you cannot do without it.